What a week. I’m feeling tonnes better. I have come to the conclusion I have PMDD (a super dark, extreme version of PMS). Self-diagnosed of course but I know my body better than any doctor. One day I was having suicidal thoughts and the next, as soon as I got my period, it was like a switch was flipped and I felt ok again. Pretty scary. I was genuinely beginning to think I was bipolar until I realised I always get depressed every three weeks like clockwork. Usually not as extreme as I was last week but I was also having a stressful time which made it more intense. I’m typically quite good at staying positive and being all spiritual to stay focused but once every month I’ll just get overwhelmed and feel I’m back to square one. When I get paid, I’m going to visit a Chinese herbalist or holistic doctor to get some help managing it.
Anyway, girl problems aside… I’ve been out and about finally getting to know Victoria and I’ve made a couple of friends. I met the sweetest twin brothers from South Africa- they made dinner for me on Saturday then I listened to one of them sing some of his own songs with their roommate from Toronto. I’ve also been hanging out with a lovely girl from Victoria who has family from Dundee…what a small world.
I finally asked to get moved from that disgusting room and my new room is like a mansion compared. It’s an all female dorm, it’s clean, it’s quiet and I have so much space! Hallelujah. I’m sharing with two really nice girls from Germany and France who are also travelling long term.
I started my new job yesterday. I seriously got lucky. I’m working for the government (who knew?) and getting paid more than twice the minimum wage which is rare for an office job. Everyone’s super friendly too. But what I love most is the location. I can walk there in 10 minutes which means no commute like I had in Toronto last year! It’s right by the harbour and I ate my lunch from the terrace at work with this view:
Amazing isn’t it!?
Although I’m starting to really like Victoria, I don’t think I’ll stay long. I just don’t feel ready to settle down in one place yet and I know my personal goals and growth will come to a halt if I get too comfortable in that job (another blog post on this coming soon). That’s the last thing I want. I want to really get honest with myself and face all the stuff I’ve been trying to run from. I’ll probably save for a couple months here, travel somewhere East, then make another decision about what to do next. I’m being presented with more opportunities as time goes on so I’m trying to stay open minded. Never know what tomorrow will bring, amirite?
We hiked in Goldstream provincial park on Sunday to an abandoned train track. I didn’t realise I was still so scared of heights until I looked down and saw the ground below as I walked over the tracks. The sun was shining again though and the nice weather has been making me feel fab.
It seems others are noticing my positivity too (or maybe there are just a lot of strange people downtown). On the way home from work yesterday I got told I “look splendid today” by a guy I’d never seen before, then I was asked if it hurt when I fell from heaven by someone else. I thought it was a joke until I saw the guy getting embarrassed when I laughed. So. Awkward. I’ve never crossed the road faster in my life. But yeah, downtown is wild. For anyone from Dundee, it’s equivalent to the Wellgate. When I was sitting by the window eating my breakfast, I saw a girl cross the road in just her socks, take a hat out of her bag, throw it on the road then shout at it as she walked off… At 9am.
To stay sane amongst the madness I’ve created a system to ensure I’m eating healthy on a budget, sleeping well, exercising and having downtime. I’ve also figured out when’s best to shower and to cook my meals as there tends to be long queues at certain times of the day. It’s making everything as simple and as stress free as possible which is essential in such a busy environment.
So yeah… it’s been a pretty crazy week again but in a good way this time. I’m glad I feeling myself again and my new book “The Power of Now” is keeping me focused. All we have is right now. One day at a time. 🙂